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Yes, this was precisely the extraordinary thing Sri Aurobindo had. He made no effort ... But then he didn't use it on himself!
But for humans, this is something UNTHINKABLE.
He wanted to go.
You see, he had decided to go. But he didn't want me to know that
he was doing it deliberately; he knew that if for a single moment I
knew he was doing it deliberately, I would have reacted with such a
violence that he would not have been able to leave!
And he did this ... he bore it all as if it were some
unconsciousness, an ordinary illness, simply to keep me from knowing -
and he left at the very moment he had to leave. But ...
And I couldn't even imagine he was gone once he had gone, just
there, in front of me - it seemed so far away ... And then afterwards,
when he came out of his body and entered into mine, I understood it all
... It's fantastic.
Fantastic.
It's ... it's absolutely superhuman. There's not one human being
capable of doing such a thing. And what ... what a mastery of his body -
absolute, absolute!
And when it came to others ... he could remove an illness like that (gesture, as if Mother were calmly extracting an illness from the body with her fingertips). That
happened to you once, didn't it? You said that I had done this for you -
but it wasn't me; he was the one who did it ... He could give you peace
in the mind in the same way (Mother brushes her hand across her forehead). You see, his actions were absolutely ... On others, it had all the characteristics of a total mastery ... Absolutely superhuman. page 439 , Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 19th Oct. 1960 |
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I can tell you why, but in a purely superficial way ... Because for
him to do IMMEDIATELY - without leaving his body, that is - what he had
to do, well ...
(silence) We can put it this way: the world was not ready. But to tell you the truth, it was the totality of things around him that was not ready. So when he SAW this (I only understood this afterwards), he saw that it would go much faster if he were not there. And he was ABSOLUTELY right, it was true. Once I saw that, I accepted. When I saw it, when he made me understand, I accepted; otherwise ... There was a difficult period.(silence) It wasn't long, but it was difficult. When he left, I said twelve days, twelve days.' And truly, I gave it twelve days, twelve days to see if the entire Work ... Outwardly, I said, 'After twelve days I will tell you if the Ashram (the Ashram was nothing but a symbol, of course), if the Ashram will continue or if it is finished.' And later (I don't know - it didn't take twelve days; I said that on December 9, and on the 12th it was all decided - seen, clear and understood), on the 12th, I saw people, I saw a few people. However, we began all the activities again only after 12 days from December 5. But it was decided on the 12th. Everything was left hanging until the moment he made me understand the COMPLETE thing, in its entirety ... But that's for later on. He himself will tell you, it's true - later on. 1. Mother stopped all her activities for twelve days from December 5, 1950, the day Sri Aurobindo departed.page 440 , Mother's Agenda , volume 1 , 19th Oct. 1960 |
And the feeling was so strong that even during his illness (which lasted for months, you know), I had a sense of perfect security; so much so that the idea of his life being really affected in the least by this illness couldn't even occur to me! I didn't want to believe it when the doctor said, "It's over." I didn't want to believe it. And as long as I stayed in the room ... with me in the room he couldn't leave his body. And so there was a terrible tension in him - on the one hand the inner will to depart, and then this thing holding him there in his body: the fact that I knew he was alive and could only be alive. He had to signal me to go to my room, supposedly to rest (I didn't rest); and no sooner had I left his room than he was gone. They immediately called me back.... That's how it was. Then when he came to me, when I really saw what had happened, when he went out of his body and entered into mine (the most material part of him, the part involved with external things) and I understood that I had the entire responsibility for all the work AND for the sadhana[[Sadhana: spiritual discipline. ]] - well, then I locked a part of me away, a deep psychic [[The soul or portion of the Supreme in man which evolves from life to life until it becomes a fully conscious being. ]] part that was living, beyond all responsibility, in the ECSTASY of the realization: the Supreme. I took it and locked it away, I sealed it off and said, "You're not moving until ... until all the rest is ready." (silence) That in itself was a miracle. If I hadn't done it I would have followed him - and there would have been no one to do the Work. I would have followed him automatically, without even thinking about it. But when he entered into me, he said, "You will do the work; one of us had to go, and I am going, but you will do the work." And that door was opened again only ten years later, in 1960. Even then, it was done with great care - it was one of last year's major difficulties.page 26-27 - Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 9th Jan. 1962 |
A whole world.... One day, I don't remember on what occasion, I saw what had motivated the "forefathers" who wrote the Vedas: it was the need for immortality; they were in quest of immortality. [[Mother added the beginning of this paragraph later: "I had forgotten to mention part of the experience!" ]] From there, I went on to Buddha and saw what had set the Buddha on his way: this kind of need for permanence, purely and simply; the vision of the impermanence of things had profoundly troubled him, and he felt the need for Permanence. His whole quest was to find the Permanent (why was he so anxious to have the Permanent?...). There are a few things like that in human nature, in the deep human need. And then I saw another such need: a need for the Certitude which is security. I don't know how to explain it.... Because I had the experience of it, I saw it was one of the human needs; and I understood it very intensely, for when I met Sri Aurobindo, this Certitude is what made me feel I had found the Truth I needed. And I didn't realize how DEEP this need was until he left his body - just then, at the moment of the transition. Then the entire physical consciousness felt its certitude and security collapse. At that moment I saw (we spoke about it with Nolini a year later and he had had exactly the same impression), I saw this was similar to Buddha's experience when he realized that everything was impermanent and so all of life collapsed ... in other words, Something Else HAD to be found. Well, at that moment.... I'd already had all my experiences, but with Sri Aurobindo, for the thirty years I lived with him (a little more than thirty years), I lived in an absolute, an absolute of security - a sense of total security, even physical, even the most material security. A sense of absolute security, because Sri Aurobindo was there. And it held me up, you know, like this (gesture of being carried): not for ONE MINUTE in those thirty years did it leave me. That was why I could do my work with a Base, really, a Base of absoluteness - of eternity and absoluteness. I realized it when he left: THAT suddenly collapsed. And then I understood that it is one of life's needs (there are several); and it's what spurs the human being to get out of his present state and find another one. These needs are (what's the word?) ... the seeds, the germs of evolution. They compel us to progress. The whole time Sri Aurobindo was here, as I said, individual progress was automatic: all the progress Sri Aurobindo made, I made. But I was in a state of eternity, of absoluteness, with a feeling of such security, in every circumstance. Nothing, nothing unfortunate could happen, for he was there. So when he left, all at once - a fall into a pit. And that's what projected me wholly ... (Mother gestures forward). That is, I understood why he left. The whole terrestrial evolution had come to a halt. One progressed - one can always progress, that's nothing - but the entire TERRESTRIAL evolution was at a standstill. If there were permanence in life, nothing would budge. And these needs are the seeds of evolution. So that's what I saw: in the past, in the future, universally. It was very interesting. page 436-37 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 27th Nov. 1962 |
The body always used to let itself be carried along. It was one in consciousness with Sri Aurobindo's presence, and depended on it without the least worry; it felt that its life depended on it, its progress depended on it, its consciousness, its action, its power all depended on it. And no questions - it didn't question. For the body, it was absolutely IMPOSSIBLE that things could be otherwise. The very idea that Sri Aurobindo might leave his body, that that particular way of being might no longer exist for the body, was absolutely unthinkable. They had to put him in a box and put the box in the Samadhi for the body to be convinced that it had really happened. And that's when it had that experience. This body is very conscious, it was BORN conscious, and throughout those years its consciousness went on growing, perfecting itself, proliferating, as it were; this was its concern, its joy. And with Sri Aurobindo, there was such peaceful certitude, there were no more problems, no more difficulties: the future was opening up, luminous and peaceful and certain. Nothing, nothing, no words can describe what a collapse it was for the body when Sri Aurobindo left. It's only because Sri Aurobindo's conscious will entered into it - left one body and entered the other.... I was standing facing his body, you know, and I materially felt the friction as his will entered into me (his knowledge and his will): "You will accomplish my Work." He said to this body: "You will accomplish my Work." It's the one thing that kept me alive. Apart from that.... There's nothing, no physical destruction I can think of, comparable to that collapse. It took me twelve days to get out of it - twelve days during which I didn't speak a single word. So the experience I mentioned is the PHYSICAL experience. (silence) What he is now striving to give this body is the consciousness of Permanence, of Immortality, of the Certitude of absolute security - in Matter, in Life, in every moment's action. And that is becoming nearer and nearer, more and more constant. Gradually, the mixture of old impressions is disappearing - that's the BEDROCK, the basis of the transformation. page 445-46 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 4th Dec. 1962 |
You said something mysterious the other day [December 41 concerning Sri Aurobindo's departure. You were speaking of the sense of impermanence you had, of total uncertainty, and you said, "It's no longer a destruction, but it's not yet an ascending transformation...."It was a real physical destruction; so I am saying it's not that any more, but it's not yet the realization. (silence) (Mother laughs) I didn't tell you the other side.What's the other side?That's for later. What do you mean, the other side?No, what he seems to be giving me these days, since December 5, is a very clear vision and experience of why he had to leave. But that ... it's not yet time to speak of it. It wasn't for personal reasons but for reasons of work. I mean he considered (I knew it from the start; he had told me), he considered it better to leave his body, that it was the best way to do the work now. It was necessary. But the time hasn't come to speak of all this, to give all the reasons, and it probably won't come for quite a while. These past few days, he seems to want to make me see and experience all the terrestrial conditions that led him to that decision (that's the best way to put it). But it just can't be told. When he left his body I said, "The world isn't ready." I was speaking generally, but now he's showing me each and every point, every single point. I hope (there's still tomorrow [[December 9 Darshan, anniversary of Sri Aurobindo's interment. ]]), I hope he'll show me if something has been accomplished along the way. That, I don't know. (silence) He's not talking to me, he's not saying anything or explaining anything to me: he's simply putting me through a series of experiences. Voilą. page 448-49 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 8th Dec. 1962 |
Yes, there was a hostile onslaught. And in fact, it began with the usual suggestion: "Sri Aurobindo has gone, so there's no reason for you to stay here - why don't you just leave as soon as you can?" In other words, everything's going to pieces. Well, my usual answer, the only answer that has some weight with those beings, is "It's not up to me. It's up to the Lord, address yourselves to Him." Then they keep quiet. They come back another time, hoping to succeed, and the response is always the same, which they find somewhat discouraging. After a while it's over. But ... really, everything imaginable; and precisely for those who were progressing steadily: a collapse into all the old errors and stupidities. And then a sort of hate coming out of everything and everybody and hurled at me, with this inevitable conclusion: "What are you doing here! Go away, you're not wanted. Nobody wants you, can't you see that!" "It's not up to me, it's none of my business. Wanted or not, I am here for as long as the Lord keeps me here; when He no longer wants to keep me here, He'll make me go, that's all - it's none of my business." That calms them down, it's the only thing that calms them down. But it doesn't discourage them! Now I am just waiting for the hurricane to pass. Since 1950, I must say, it has been the same thing EVERY year at this time. And with the same suggestion (which they make not only to me but to everybody, to all those who listen): "Sri Aurobindo has gone, what's she doing here? She should just leave!" And some of them are relentless: "She WANTS to leave," they say. Not "She must leave," but "She's GOING to leave; take it from me, she's leaving, now's the time, she's going to leave. And surely you can see that none of this is real, it just doesn't make sense. Sri Aurobindo left because he was disgusted. He has gone, so logically she must go too." That's the picture. Actively, there's only one thing to do: "It's not up to me, it's the Lord who decides. It's the Lord who acts, it's the Lord who organizes everything - and to top it off, it's even the Lord who sends you away!" That irks them more than anything! (Mother laughs.) page 450-51 , Mother's Agenda , volume 3 , 12th Dec. 1962 |
And I saw for Sri Aurobindo (although he hadn't yet started this systematic transformation; but still, he was constantly pulling the supramental force down into his body), even in his case, it took five days to show the first slight sign of decomposition. I would have kept his body longer, but the government always meddles in other people's business, naturally, and they pestered me awfully, saying it was forbidden to keep a body so long and that we should ... So when the body began to (what's the word?) shrink - it was shrinking and contracting, that is, dehydrating - then we had to do it. He had had enough time to come out, since almost everything came into my body - almost everything that was material came into my body. page 269 - Mother's Agenda , volume 4 , 10th Aug. 1963 |
And I know - I know in my deeper consciousness - that he left because he WILLED to leave. He left because he decided that it should be so, that it was the thing that had to be done. But WHY?... Well, then, I cannot give you anything more than this. It's a very difficult period - very difficult. We are still in the middle of a transition. page 111 - Mother's Agenda , volume 5 , 8th April 1964 |
There was the case of Sri Aurobindo. "He is dead," the doctors decided - he was absolutely alive. Absolutely living. And even after five days, when they put him into ... it was because of (how should I put it?) the pressure of the outside world, and because it was impossible to preserve him. We had to consent. But I cannot say he was dead! He wasn't at all dead, it was perfectly obvious. The body was already beginning to ... (very little, but a little at the end of the fifth day), that is, the skin was losing its color, but ... (Mother makes a glorious gesture). For the first three days, I remained standing there, near his bed, and in an absolutely ... well, to me, it was absolutely visible - all the organized consciousness that was in his body DELIBERATELY came out of it and into mine. And I not only saw it but felt the FRICTION of its entry. Then people say, "He is dead" - that's ignorance. All that supramental power he had attracted into and organized in his body little by little came into me METHODICALLY. I didn't say anything to anyone because it was nobody's business, nobody's concern. I remained standing there and ... (gesture showing the forces passing from Sri Aurobindo into Mother's body). page 184 , Mother's Agenda , volume 8 , 14th June - 1967 |
When Sri Aurobindo left, I was standing near his bed (later on, when he was alone, when there was no one left), and all the supramental force he had concentrated in his body (what was left in his body), he passed on to me. I stood near his bed; he had been declared "dead," but all that supramental consciousness which was there came out of his body, slowly, and directly entered mine. It was so material that I felt the friction of the force everywhere, all over. But it was slightly luminous. That was something different than with Pavitra. As for Sri Aurobindo, he ... (how can I put it?), he stayed mainly ... I found him everywhere: I found him all the way up, absolutely one with the Supreme Consciousness; I found him spread about in many places to see many people and do a lot of work; and I found him (but then, in a precise form, though NOT FIXED - A precise, rather supple form that looked like him, like what we knew of him, with more suppleness, without the fixity of the physical, but quite precise, a form in his likeness, quite in his likeness), I found him in the subtle physical. page 183 , Mother's Agenda , volume 10 , 17th May - 1969 |